In The Ocean’s Company
The ocean converses with my soul,
Its waves constantly break at the shore,
With such delicacy that it calms my very core.
The composure of the waves
Against the conflict coming from within
Poses a pronounced contrast.
I tremble and agonize with self-doubt,
“Will I ever be as healthy as the others?
What about all that I’ve been blessed with?”
The ocean’s waves continue to break.
I envision the future in black or white,
And I am convinced that it is not right,
So I attempt to dismiss my concerns outright.
The ocean’s waves nod in agreement.
Exasperating anxiety and dark depression
Subsist on my debilitating thoughts,
Leaving me depleted of ambition and drive.
The color of the ocean fills my soul with hope.
The waves gently pat my feet in succession,
Grains of sand lightly tickle my toes,
And my unfavorable thoughts leave in regression.
Just beginning to apprehend my potential,
Yet I am certain I possess power that is
As challenging to fathom as the depth of the ocean.
The continuous battle within myself
Threatens my existence as it always has,
But I refuse to permit it to be my last.
The waves quicken in support of the notion.
The ocean chants in tranquilizing harmony,
I become utterly mesmerized by the melody,
Blessed by its presence and virtuous company.
You were Venus in my eyes,
I admit I was mesmerized.
I let my heart be my guide,
To safety rules I did not abide.
Now my regrets are all amplified,
As I reflect in the dead of the night.
It was me you carelessly betrayed,
Me, who used to come to your aid,
Whose affection still won’t fade,
Even though you dug a blade.
Oh it’s such a cliché,
That I feel compelled to portray.
You played me like a game,
Have you no shame?
The hurt is ingrained into my brain,
And I have only myself to blame.
This was never my aim,
But it could have been all the same.
I admit I was already broken,
Seeking comfort in you often.
I should have had caution,
When you made me into a burden,
And left me when I had fallen,
Of that I am certain.
You seemed so transparent,
I thought you’d never be distant,
Especially when it was urgent.
All of a sudden, you were arrogant,
And of me you were avoidant,
Much to my bafflement.
Inside a Poet’s Mind
Whenever I write poetry,
The process tends to be messy.
I start shedding layers of negativity,
Enhancing my wellbeing greatly.
There’s something unapologetic
In writing in a style that is poetic,
Even when feeling claustrophobic,
Living in a world far from idealistic.
When my patience is exhausted,
And my judgment becomes clouded,
I turn to my pen that have I befriended,
Of its companionship I have boasted.
Through my darkest gloomy phase,
It is poetry that has sent me rays
Of sunlight deserving of praise.
I appreciate it even more nowadays.
I was lost in a maze,
Lost in a state of daze.
I saw Alice and befriended
The mad hatter,
And everything between the latter.
Some I wish to unsee,
It has reached that degree.
But it is alright,
I have won that fight!
Under the Rain
At night I sway under the rain,
Deliberately neglecting the pain,
Under pretense of scarcity in strain.
The morning sun gleams with its rays,
I exclaim telling the world I’m okay,
Despite it not always being that way.
It was in fact a forecast of their offering
That I will become adept at conquering,
I say there is to be no more foreshadowing.
It is noteworthy and good fortune indeed
My wishes were met as per my need
In managing my temperament at ease.
I will go forth with living my life as I please,
Exercise being my euphoria at the very least,
To its endorphin rush I say, ‘yes, please.’
And to take note of the music’s flow
Is another joy, even at the lowest of my lows,
I strongly testify that it makes me glow.
In between letters I find comfort as well,
And although it occasionally makes me dwell,
It can be immensely therapeutic, I can tell.
Toying With Fire
Toying with fire is what I do,
Fear my strength,
Forgive me for being crude.
Living on the edge of existence,
I challenge the concept every day,
Who is to say it is not true?
It is notable that I care not if they agree,
For I see myself handling dismay with ease,
No matter what they may think or feel.
Dismay comes crashing down,
Similar in pace to stones rolling off mountains,
But it will not be at the expense of my serenity.
It has been a long quarrel with my emotions.
Now that I know that surrendering is strength,
I grant it permission to course through my veins.
With each day is renewed strength
And a renewed will to live a better day,
And that is how I get through every day.